the corner office

a blog, by Colin Pretorius

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I do, the retrospective

So that's another historical thing done, so I may as record my thoughts on the wedding for posterity...

  • They didn't even say 'I do.' They said 'I will.' Ah well.

  • It still blows my mind that I regularly cycled down the same roads those Jags and Bentleys and Rollseseses were cruising down.

  • Prince Harry has bad posture. In fact, despite the concentration of international royalty, there wasn't a lot of regal going on in the Abbey. So much fiddling and figdeting and scratching of noses and straightening of hair. Maybe it was always like that, but we never got to see it.

  • Ditto for the talking. William and Kate rushed and whimpered through their vows like scaredy little teenagers. I was expecting something more, like 'I'm a future King dammit, and I could have every one of you beheaded, now Behold, Hear Mah Fukken Vows. And then bring me Excalibur.' It was nothing like that.

  • The Queen doesn't get to sing God Save the Queen. Must be kinda weird to be singing 'God Save the Queen' when she's right there in the room. Back in the day she could've had you beheaded if you didn't do it enthusiastically enough.

  • Westminster Abbey is an impressive building. It must be quite an honour to be buried there (except that you're too dead to enjoy it).

  • You may have gathered that I don't care much for Archbishop Rowan Williams but I have to admit he had some pretty slick moves getting his mitre on and off, without getting caught up with the lappets on the back (and yes, I had to google to find out what they were called).

  • Mama Middleton isn't a bad looker. Papa Middleton looked like a proud dad, the whole way through. What must go through their minds, other than 'we've earned more of our money than they have.'

  • Speaking of regal, the Queen knows how to wave. These young whippersnappers don't. Kate's loose-wristed flippy-flappy will not stand the test of time, I think.

  • What was coming out of my PC headphones was more interesting than the blathering on the TV, so I missed the start of the balcony thing, and I only got to see one of the kisses. Tsk. A generation to go from one (groundbreaking) kiss to two. Two! How many generations to go before it's OK to slip a little tongue?

  • For 364 days of the year, the BBC channels and fuels the national obsession with 'fairness' and 'equality.' And on Royal Wedding day, we get reminded repeatedly how 'we're all commoners' and how Mama Middleton's family have come, 'in a few generations, from miners in the North of England, and now a successful business woman.' Wtf?

  • And when they weren't telling us how lowly we all are, the cognitive dissonance went into overdrive in the opposite direction. The couple drive down the road in the old man's Aston Martin. Nice touch, bit of an encore for the adoring crowds. And then we're treated to some ditz in the studio saying 'it's showing that they're just like us, going for a drive,' to which Huw Edwards diplomatically pointed out that in fairness they were being tailed at close range by the police protection unit. Yes, and it's a freakin' Aston Martin, leaving Buckingham Palace, for chrissakes.

  • Prince William isn't the Second Coming after all (just as well, because I don't think the Book of Revelations was something the news presenters had swotted up on for the occasion). Still, the adulation and sheer crap the BBC presenters came up with might make you wonder. The same ditz talking about the Aston Martin drive says 'and he's such a good driver.' Aaaaargh!

  • Not that the newspapers were much better... the Times and Telegraph sites' headlines and leaders have been retch-worthy for 24 hours now. Even the Guardian's website got into the spirit, notwithstanding the little 'Republicans click here' button on their front page, which made all the wedding coverage go away. Then the 'Royalists click here' button to make it all come back. Teh lols.

  • There was even a 'street' (rather: lawn) party in our complex. I might lack the 'get into the spirit' gene when it comes to special occasions like this, but I have to admit that it's still quite something to see.

  • For all the UK's problems and foibles, it was all another reminder of just how lucky we are to be in this country. What an amazing place.

{2011.04.30 - 11:25}


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